How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
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Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
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She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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