I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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