did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm like, not good at living.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
