I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
