We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
