Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
