I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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