I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
