Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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