No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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