Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Just high enough for therapy.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
