Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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