Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
we made out on top of his cat.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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