Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Randomize
