I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
