Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
