I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i want to swaddle you in tequila
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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