The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
