I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
