it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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