Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
