she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
