thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
