This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
