Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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