No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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