the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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