you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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