I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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