Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
