Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
