how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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