Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
be right there i have to get my cape
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
