i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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