so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
