Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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