well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
