Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
