i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
