your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
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I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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