Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
