It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize
