puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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