I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
