It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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