Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
