I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
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It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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