After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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