YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
