No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize