She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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