No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
