We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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