but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
