Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
