I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Soap is not a condiment
My brain says no but my pants say off.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
