Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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